The Long Road: Beta-Readers

Here’s the low down, peeps. (Yes, I just laughed at how ridiculous that sounds. It is yet another reason I love blogging. It’s good practice for making yourself vulnerable, but I digress). 

I’ve recently finished my first draft of revisions for my urban fantasy YA novel called THE LOY. This book is the book. And no, I don’t think it’s going to be published right away once I start querying. It might not even be received well by the agents I query in all honesty, but this book is my book. This the first manuscript I’ve loved and hated enough to get through revisions. This is the first novel I am going to query. This is the first book I’m going to feel the sting of rejection from. 

This is also the first novel I’ve let my friends read. (Technically they’re reading it right now.) I have my three closest friends reading my novel. This is what’s known as beta-readers. They love me enough to suffer through this first draft that isn’t completely perfect and they’re willing to give me comments and critique.

This is a huge step for me. Before this novel, the only people I let read my book was my sister (who is, undoubtedly, my alpha-reader—a person who looks at a writer’s drafts even before revision) and my brother. I stuck to my siblings because they’re safe. 

I know a lot of people say don’t have your friends or family read your novel, but I disagree. I need a buffer between writing and sending it off to a harsh critic who will rip it to shreds. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t give my novel to any random friend or family member. There’s no reason for me to give my novel to my parents who don’t really enjoy reading unless it’s in Korean—their first language. And I definitely wouldn’t give my novel to one of my friends in my biochemistry class because he doesn’t like reading and he doesn’t even know what YA stands for. There are certain people you shouldn’t give your novel to.

But I chose these three friends to read my novel for various reasons. One is a screenwriter and loves films to the point where she talks about them for hours. My other friend is a rather critical reader and won’t put up with a book if it’s boring or annoying. Then my last friend reads the most YA in my group of friends and has the same taste as I do; she’s also amazing at giving feedback and critique without destroying my hopes and dreams. 

I need to have my friends as my beta-readers. I know they’re going to provide me with awesome comments and ways I can improve my novel. They understand how serious I am about publishing. They also know that I’m ready for critique and open for all suggestions, but my skin isn’t quite thick enough to handle the blunt comments that others may give. 

 Basically, my friends as beta-readers is like jumping down a flight of stairs into a nest of pillows. It’s going to hurt, but at least there’s some cushion.

Did you guys have a hard time letting people read your work? What’s your opinion about friends reading your work? Comment below! 

The Long Road: Revisions

Getting a book ready to query is a long road. It’s easy to get discouraged at how much more I have to do, but today is not one of those days.

I recently completed my first revisions on my manuscript, THE LOY. (Notice how I said my first revisions. I have a lot more revisions to get through for this book to be ready.)

Revisions are different for every writer. There’s no perfect formula (trust me, I’ve looked and looked). Revising is tough. No other way to put it. Revisions for me will always be difficult. It's obvious how much I struggle with revising because up until this set of revisions, I would always stop a couple of chapters in because I got discouraged.

So being able to say that I have now revised a book is an accomplishment in itself. (One I’ll keep saying while I dance in my chair a little bit.)

In my first revision pass, I focused on perfecting the plot. This involved scraping entire scenes and chapters, cutting and adding characters, removing one subplot and beefing up another, etc. I did a lot in this first draft of revisions and I’m proud of myself. 

But what I love is that I get to do again. I never thought I would say this. I really didn’t, but I’m starting to grow fond of the revising process.

I’m excited to start my second round of revisions because I have so many other things to tackle. The plot isn’t quite where it needs to be in terms of pacing. The world building is a little lacking. Then there are all these characters that I haven’t really touched in my revisions. I can’t wait to start working with character arcs.The list is really never ending and for the first time, I don’t feel overwhelmed. I’m in no rush because I know I can make this story a lot better. 

And yes, I may not be able to get an agent with this story. I’m starting to see that it’s just a little too cliche and a little too unoriginal, but is that going to stop me? Hell, no! 

I started writing for myself and I’m going to continue to write for myself. And even though it’s my absolute dream to get published and share my story with others, my love of writing comes first. I absolutely love it. No matter what happens, I’m going to keep writing. 

Every book I write is only going to make me a better writer. So that one day, I will be ready for whatever’s out there for me. 

I’ve overcome my fear of revising (a long battle). That’s one large step down the long road and yes, I have a thousand more steps to go, but if I take it one step at a time, I’ll eventually make it.

Any one else struggling with revisions? 

Revising Update

Do you guys remember that post about my reluctance to revise? Well I didn’t actually start revising until ten days after that post. I did everything to procrastinate starting the revision process. (It was actually really productive procrastination because I read six books in that time.)

Then I meet up with my local Emerging Writer’s Group. I don’t know what happened, but it was the push off the cliff I needed (and yes, cliff because there’s no going back now). I think it was talking with other writers. They were polishing their query letters, talking about their finished manuscripts, and discussing what agents they wanted. It got my heart racing (even more than when I see this cute boy I know). 

I’m not ready for query letters. And I know my book isn't the best it can be. Usually when I remember that fact, I get a little disappointed. Especially because others around me are so much farther along on "The Path" to publication. Strangely enough, that night I wasn’t disappointed. It was the jolt I needed because that night, I went straight home and started revising. 

And since that day I revised about 2000 words every night until this week when school overtook my life with exams, quizzes, research papers, etc. But the overall picture (the great, beautiful, amazing, rainbow-in-the-sky picture) is the fact that I have 38k revised. 

38,000 words. It’s the most I’ve ever revised. 

Even though I have a good 62k left for this draft and even though I know I’m going to need to do at least another two revisions, I’ve never been this happy. And I don't see this happiness leaving anytime soon. 

I’m starting to figure out my own process for revising and I’ll eventually post something about it once I’ve been revising for longer than 2 weeks. But one thing that really helps me get into the revising mood is playing music. Not just any music. 

Actually it’s only one song: "Scream My Name" by Tove Lo for the Mockingjay soundtrack. 

“When I'm dead and gone

Will they sing about me? 

Dead and gone. 

Will they scream my name?”

I think it’s rather fitting for revising. By revising this book and having the courage to pursue publishing…well I’m leaving my mark on the world. I’m screaming my own name. I’m screaming at the top of my lungs to anyone who will listen. 

Revising Reluctance

Revising….the great big hurdle that I just cannot seem to get over no matter how much I prepare for it. I could have all my colored pens right beside me, my manuscript printed out, and I could even make it as far as reading it through and making an outline of what I have, but there’s just something about revising that always stops me. It’s like a large red stop sign in the middle of the road that decided to jump out of nowhere. But since stop signs can’t exactly jump, let’s change that to deer. A deer that jumped out of nowhere so that you have to slam the breaks on. 

I’ve tried a lot to get past the my reluctance for revising. Especially after I read that the “best writers are those that revise…a lot”. Not only was it that idea that spurred me forward to really tackle this path to become published, but it’s also what holds me back in a way. 

What if I’m not good enough after revising? What if no agent wants to take my manuscript in so that it’s left cold and alone with only me for company—let’s be honest, I’m not the best company.

I wish I was one of those writers/authors that love revising or at least look forward to. I just dread it. I love the idea of revising. Who doesn’t? I’m going to change this and this and this and this and my manuscript is going to be so much better. 

But in order to actually revise, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. You need to make the tough decisions to “kill your darlings”. You might decide to scrap the entire novel and just start from ground zero (or ground naught…haha I’m so funny [not really, I know I’m not that funny]). It’s not even those things that stop me. 

I’m a perfectionist. It’s a trait that I love and hate at the same time. It’s inevitably my fatal flaw. But my perfectionism never rears its head when I’m writing. It’s so easy to lose myself in writing the next word, imagining my novel playing before my eyes, surprising myself as I write. There’s no room for my perfectionist to protest. Writing is bliss. 

Revising is an entirely different story. Revising requires my perfectionism and it’s so easy to get overwhelmed. I mean look at what you produced—you have a whooping 100k words that you have to get through. You have to worry about plot, characters, dialogue, foreshadowing, symbols, etc. I just want to crawl into a ball typing it out. 

I’ve tried a lot of different things—advice from authors, countless articles about revising, a couple of craft books about revising and writing in general. That was more than a few months ago (before school started actually). Now here I am in the first week of my last semester at school with a burning ache to start revising—a feeling I’ve never really had. Oddly enough, this burning passion to revise was after I had an epiphany as I was walking back from class (it’s one of the best times to think about all the ideas swimming around my head). 

Basically it amounts to this—I need to revise on my own terms.

I don’t have to follow a method to revise in order to succeed. I can create my own method. Frankly, I might not even need my own method. I mean that’s how I started writing—without a clue where it was going except for a single protagonist that consumed my mind. 

I realized that a revising method might work for others, but not necessarily for me. And so as I write this post, well, I’m really ready to start revising again. And the only thing I have to arm me is one statement: revising is where true writing happens. 

I just need to revise.

And when I inevitably start to dread revising I’m going to try repeating one simple fact in my head. Revising will make my story better and it deserves to grow and improve as I learn to do the same. 

Anyone else have trouble with revising? Any helpful hints or tips to help me? Comment below!